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FWD:7 reasons not to mess with children

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FWD:7 reasons not to mess with children

Post  byrd45 on Thu Feb 19, 2009 8:16 am

7 reasons not to mess with children.

A little girl was talking to her teacher about whales. The teacher said it
was physically impossible for a whale to swallow a human because even though
it was a very large mammal its throat was very small. The little girl stated
that Jonah was swallowed by a whale. Irritated, the teacher reiterated that
a whale could not swallow a human; it was physically impossible. The little
girl said, 'When I get to heaven I will ask Jonah'.The teacher asked, 'What
if Jonah went to hell?' The little girl replied, 'Then you ask him.'

A Kindergarten teacher was observing her classroom of children while they
were drawing. She would occasionally walk around to see each child's work. As
she got to one little girl who was working diligently, she asked what the
drawing was. The girl replied, 'I'm drawing God..' The teacher paused and
said, 'But no one knows what God looks like.'Without missing a beat, or
looking up from her drawing, the girl replied, 'They will in a minute.'

A Sunday school teacher was discussing the Ten Commandments with her five
and six year olds. After explaining the commandment to 'honor' thy Father and
thy Mother, she asked, 'Is there a commandment that teaches us how to treat
our brothers and sisters?' Without missing a beat one little boy (the oldest
of a family) answered, 'Thou shall not kill.'

One day a little girl was sitting and watching her mother do the dishes at
the kitchen sink. She suddenly noticed that her mother had several strands
of white hair sticking out in contrast on her brunette head.She looked at her
mother and inquisitively asked, 'Why are some of your hairs white, Mom? 'Her
mother replied, 'Well, every time that you do something wrong and make me
cry or unhappy, one of my hairs turns white.' The little girl thought about
this revelation for a while and then said, 'Momma, how come ALL of grandma's
hairs are white?'

The children had all been photographed, and the teacher was trying to
persuade them each to buy a copy of the group picture. 'Just think
how nice it
will be to look at it when you are all grown up and say,'There's Jennifer,
she's a lawyer,' or 'That's Michael, He's a doctor.A small voice at
the back of
the room rang out, 'And there's the teacher, she's dead.'

A teacher was giving a lesson on the circulation of the blood. Trying to
make the matter clearer, she said, 'Now, class, if I stood on my head,the
blood, as you know, would run into it, and I would turn red in the
face.' 'Yes,'
the class said. 'Then why is it that while I am standing upright in the
ordinary position the blood doesn't run into my feet?' A little
fellow shouted,
'Cause your feet ain't empty..'

The children were lined up in the cafeteria of a Catholic elementary school
for lunch. At the head of the table was a large pile of apples. The nun
made a note, and posted on the apple tray: 'Take only ONE . God is
Moving further along the lunch line, at the other end of the table was a
large pile of chocolate chip cookies. A child had written a note,
'Take all you
want. God is watching the apples.'

It doesn't matter how many people you send this to, just remember if it
made you laugh, your friends will laugh too.

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